One thing I have plenty of experience in, it’s break-ups. So, here is my geeked-out break-up letter to Square Enix, that they will never see or refer to when making future games. Thank you.
Dearest Square Enix,
I remember the first day I saw you. You were just hanging out in the video store, looking like the average game. I was so wrong. When I picked you up and started to get to know you, I knew you were something special.
Your game play was new. Your story was exciting. Over the years you only got better and better. By the third and seventh installments, your humor, your looks, your sound, your heart…they were at an all-time high. You were it for me.
Over the last few years, though, something changed. You aren’t the game you used to be. You keep getting one over the top make-over after another, but you don’t laugh like you used to. You keep bringing people in that I don’t care about…You keep fighting and fighting, but for what I don’t know. You used to take me places and involve me more. Now, I just sit and watch you have all the fun. Yeah, you’re nice to look at, but you don’t have the magic you used to.
Frankly, I’m worried about you. You don’t always make sense any more. I’m not sure what else to do, so…I think we need to break up.
Look, we had some good times and I plan on cherishing what we had together. Like the moogles that brought us gifts or sometimes even fought in battle. Or how about the time when we could change the characters’ names. Remember materia? lol I’ll never forget when the world split in two and we spent days getting all the characters back together. Hell, even fighting unicorns over and over and over was a memory I don’t want to erase.
But we’ve just grown apart. So, take care of yourself out there. It’s a cruel world for bad games. Get help before you wind up in the $1.99 bin at Gamestop.